Backsliding

Hey everyone,

I have been gone for a while.  I've been hiding.  Since moving back from Portland I have gained back seven of the pounds I lost.  I had been down 22 pounds before we moved back home, and I'm slowly getting it back.  I am still attending TOPS meetings, and have signed up for an officer position to help motivate me to get back on track.  I steadily gained at each weigh-in with my new group, and kept the same weight at our last meeting.  Hopefully, I have leveled out and will get back down.  I have been too ashamed to write to everyone that I am gaining.  I am failing every single day.  Even weeks where I do everything I should- I stay under my calories, log all my food, and workout five times a week, I still gain!  I know this is common, and I know that others are struggling with this right now.  That's why I've decided to write about it-- maybe it will help clear the air and help me restore faith in myself.

The biggest problem I have right now is nowhere to work out.  At our place in Portland, I had a fitness center in my apartment.  It was small, but it was enough.  I rode the exercise bike for 35 minutes most days, and got at least 8-9 miles in per day on the bike.  The cost of living in a smaller town and smaller complex is that it doesn't have a fitness center.  I didn't realize how heavily I relied on that bike to help me lose weight.  When I rode the bike, I ate better that day.  I drank more water.  I didn't want to waste my workout.  I loved riding that bike.  Now, my only options for exercise are running, following YouTube videos, or playing tennis.  Running is not fun!  Tim and I keep at it, but it sucks.  My ankles, knees and hips are sore everyday.  It is difficult to continue to exercise when you do not enjoy it.  I like playing tennis, but we are terrible.  It is a lot of running to pick up the ball and get the game going again.  Once we improve, it will be more fun, but right now, it's about as enjoyable as running.  YouTube videos are great, and we really like doing Yoga, but it really doesn't burn all that many calories.

Financially, we have been struggling quite a bit.  We emptied our accounts moving back home, because in the long run, it will pay off.  We make more money here and it has the added benefits of being a lower cost of living and much closer to our families.  Because of the financial hardship, we haven't been buying healthy food as much, and haven't been able to get a gym membership for me.  Over the two months we've been home, we have spent more on takeout food than we have since January.  We haven't had the cash to make a big grocery store run, so we've been picking up cheap dinners.  It's digging us into a bigger hole financially, and into bigger pants for me.

I'm writing now to get back on track.  We are tracking all our spending to get our finances in order.  We have picked up second jobs.  I am right now working on a freezer meal plan for today, and finding the best deals to get the most dinners prepped for the least amount of money.  Writing is what makes me lose weight.  You all are the reason that I do this, for support, for encouragement, and to help realize that weight loss is crazy difficult, but so many of us are in this together.  I am 61 pounds from my goal weight.  I do not want to be any farther away from that magic number than I am now!

Please, let me know if you are struggling too!  If you have freezer meal recipes, or want some of mine, email me here at eringesine@gmail.com!

It's working!

Hi everyone!

After almost two weeks of my fitness challenge, I'm seeing progress on the scale!! At TOPS this week, I was down 2.4 pounds!  Running is working!  I'm still not fast, but I am now down to a 12 minute mile, and can run for about half the time I'm on the treadmill.  I am extremely grateful for the group at work, and the leader of our challenge who got me to believe that I can run.  This is the most weight that I have lost in a week since starting with TOPS and I can't believe it.

I have been drinking about as much water as I can get in everyday.  So much so that I pretty much always have to run to the restroom.  Sorry to anyone who sits in my section at work- I gotta stay hydrated!

I am making a motivation wall for myself in the apartment.  I've got my poster board and calendar, and small goals I want to have on it.  Right now, I've been focusing on "earning my showers."  It's really making a difference!  It's such a dorky thing to think about, but it's helped me stay motivated.  Disclaimer: I hate showering.  I think a fair amount of women do.  It's a lot of work.  I have a lot of hairs, it takes a long time, it is cold, and it's a lot of work after- all of the grooming.  But, changing how I think about showering, instead of a chore, to something that I only get if I workout and sweat, makes me feel pretty badass.  I have to earn the privilege of showering.  I don't get to shower unless I'm smelly (I realize this is lame, but whatever works).

I finally downloaded a countdown app on my phone, and I set up a countdown until our move out day- which is two days after my birthday.  I want to be under 200 pounds by that day.  There's no real reason why I picked then, but it was just a date that is already significant- so it will help me remember.  I think I chose a pretty good image for the countdown:

I am also going to hang up an outfit I want to be able to fit into.  I have plenty from what I've gained in the past few years, so there may be a couple in my apartment, but I will use that as motivation to keep myself in check.  I have been working out and eating better long enough now that it doesn't feel like something I have to dwell on.  I'm getting to the point where it feels normal now, which is really exciting.  Junk food is much less appealing now than at the beginning.  I don't want to sweat my ass off everyday just to ruin it with something terrible to eat.  I am worried about turning into one of those crazy health people- I'm drinking almond milk and putting soy protein powder in smoothies, I could easily turn to the dark side.

Participating in this fitness challenge has really helped get me on the right track, keep me motivated, and given me an idea of what I can accomplish.  I never thought I could run, and here I am, getting faster every day I do it.  I didn't think I could stay under 1500 calories a day, but I am.  And I am losing.

"Progress"

Hey everyone! 

I'm still doing my challenge- but I think it should be a "fitness" challenge instead of a "running" challenge.  My legs really aren't running legs yet.  It gets really hard on the joints, and I don't want to be walking around like an old lady yet.  Here is my journal from where we last left off: 

Day six:  I went a little bit longer today!  I ran for 23 minutes, and kept up with the warm up for three minutes, then intervals of 2 minutes after that.  I’m getting faster little by little every day!  My pace today was 13.29 minute miles, so I went 1.73 miles!  I’m hoping to be up to two miles next week, in about 25 minutes.  I wanted to push myself today to go 25 minutes, but I don’t want to push too hard and have to stop.  I also went to the grocery store today and got healthy food, because I gained one pound at TOPS today, and I don’t want to be doing all this running and sweating for nothing.

Day Seven:  I opted for the bike instead of a run today.  Running is hard on the hips and knees.  I figured I’d give them a bit of a break.  To keep up with exercising, I went for 35 minutes and did just over seven miles, with higher resistance on the bike.  Thanks to the running, I’ve built up more cardio strength.  I was able to do much higher resistance than normal for both rest and work periods.  

Day Eight:  I got up to two miles today!! I really, really didn’t want to work out.  I almost skipped it for a nap.  A nap wouldn’t have gotten me as sweaty, but I also am really proud of getting up to two miles- at 24:54!!!  I kept going, and did my last rest interval, for a total of 26 minutes, 2.07 miles.  I’m down to under 13 minute miles!! Much better than the 15+ minute mile I started with (or the 17 minute mile outside).  12.56 minute miles to be exact!! I am very glad I worked out when I wanted to do anything but that.  I made myself put on the shoes, and said I was just going to do a short workout.  I ended up doing my longest and farthest run (so far).  Keep at it!!

I am getting a little discouraged with my weight loss so far. I've been working out way more than I ever have (which was pretty much nothing), we have cut out all fast food, and judging by my "cheat days," we've cut out about 800-1000 calories on a daily basis. I've also cut back on beer- I didn't drink a lot before, but now I don't drink any. With all of this that we've cut out, and all the work I've been doing, I haven't had a lot of progress. I'm still only down about ten pounds from my heaviest at the beginning of the year, and have only gone down about three pounds since I joined TOPS. It's very frustrating!!!

We sometimes go out to eat, and I'm sure that doesn't help, but overall, we've made a drastic change in what we eat, and I'm really sad about the lack of results.

On the plus side, I've never been able to do a mile in 12.5 minutes, and today I did two of them! I know my heart is getting in better shape, and I am getting healthier. But can't I get healthier and lose some pounds?

Anyway, things that I've been doing to hopefully be down this week are: stocking up on healthy lunch things. We've been having turkey wraps on either spinach tortillas or using lettuce wraps, with soup or cottage cheese for lunch. We've also been getting back into our smoothie kick. I now know that I can eat lettuce wraps, and that I like almond milk. We put it in our smoothies, and I put some in coffee or hot chocolate when I have a cup.

I have also been getting better at recognizing when I am hungry versus when I want to eat. It gets pretty difficult sometimes to stay under 1500 calories, but I really do try! We have also been trying to take out dinner from the freezer in the morning, and prep meals before we go to work so we have no excuse to make dinner at home.

I hope some of this is helping with your weight loss goals!

Also, I've discovered that mobile commenting isn't working as "anonymous," but it works to comment if you are on a computer. Don't know why that is- but feel free to email me! eringesine@gmail.com

Running Challenge Progress!

Hey all,

So I started a 21 day challenge to run every day.  I'm very much a beginner, so it's been difficult, and I already missed a day due to pain.  I'm working through it, and it is making me feel pretty good about myself.  I've been keeping a daily journal after each run, and here it is so far:

Day one: I “ran” about a 15.4 minute mile.  Last time I ran- around my birthday last year, I was at 17 minute miles, so its better.  All the cycling I’ve been doing has helped a bit with my cardio strength.  I was able to run for two minutes straight, and could have gone a little more, but I don’t want to go too hard and have to stop before the challenge is even over.  I’m happy with being able to run for two minutes at a time!  Before, when I’ve tried running, it was a struggle to get to 30 seconds at a time- even when I was in better shape than I am now!  So, I warmed up for five minutes walking, ran for two then walked for three.  I repeated until I got to twenty minutes.  I’m planning on running twenty minutes each day the first week, 25 the second week, and 30 the third week.  If I can manage that through this challenge, I will then start focusing on shaving time off my pace.  My legs feel like jello, and I was a little dizzy when I stepped off the treadmill, but more water before I run will help that!

Day two:  My time went down a bit, today I did a 14.19 minute mile.  It’s not great or anything, but for me, I’ll take it.  My shins hurt a bit when I was on the treadmill, but I think they’re just more sore than anything.  To be safe, one day a week during my running challenge, I’m going to get on the bike instead of the treadmill.  I know that it isn’t running, but I’m hoping it will help with stretching out my legs.  They’ve never really run before.  I kept with the run two minutes, walk three minutes thing today, but I upped the speed a bit, where my “rest” periods were at a brisker pace, and my “work” periods were a bit faster, about a 5.7 on the machine- about 10 minute miles.  I wasn’t dizzy this time, and ran a bit later in the afternoon, after eating breakfast and having a couple glasses of water, and binge-watching The Following.  I definitely need to find some stretches and exercises to get my knees stronger, they are sore.  

Day three: I skipped today. :(  I didn’t want to!  I busted my toe up real nice at work and it was too swollen to get into my running shoes.  The group at work I’m doing the challenge with is starting tomorrow, so I’ll “start” with them.

Day four:  I ran outside today.  It was difficult. It’s pretty hilly by my place, and my toe was still in bad shape.  It hurt to jog, so I mostly walked.  I went about 1.5 miles in 25 minutes, and only made it through one “work” period of about 1 ½ minutes.  I am glad that I went for a run, but I will stick to the treadmill for right now.  As a beginner, it is nice to be able to set a pace, and see the timer for each rest and work set.  I like knowing exactly how fast I am going at each interval.  

Day five:  Back to the treadmill today.  I picked up the pace a bit, and ran 1.44 miles in 20 minutes.  I’m trying to decrease my rest interval times, so I warmed up for three minutes today, then did 2 minutes on, 2 minutes off for the rest of the run.  This is difficult, and very challenging for me, but something about it also makes me feel strong.  Running through the shin splints, sweat, and past the voice in my head saying “stop!” makes me feel pretty powerful.  

I'm getting faster on the treadmill and am able to shorten my rest periods, which makes me feel pretty badass. Tomorrow is TOPS, so I'll see at weigh-in how it's working. We haven't been as diligent with our food as we have in the past, but we are slowly getting back on track.

I'm also working on a presentation for TOPS, every week someone does about a 20-30 minute talk on anything weight-loss related, and it's my turn next week! I have it done, if it goes over well, I'll post it here.

If you want to come along for a weight loss challenge, let me know!!


Also, I've had a few people tell me they've had problems commenting directly on the blog- I removed the word verification part, if it helps, comment! If it doesn't, email me! eringesine@gmail.com

Thanks! Talk to you soon!

Ups and Downs

Hi all,

Sorry it's been so long!  I've been having a hard time staying focused.  I've stayed at the same weight for two weeks, so at least I'm not gaining, but I haven't worked out since last Tuesday (yikes).  We also had a hard time these last few days staying on track with eating healthy.

We went to the coast for Tim's birthday last week, and that's when the eating took a turn for the worse.  I was able to pick up a few gifts for Tim, and he isn't big on desserts, but he asked for some Chocolate Chip Cookies.  It was his birthday, I had to make him cookies.  Everyone gets treats on their birthday!  We stayed in a small inn for the night, and ordered in pizza.  We went way overboard, but the inn was adorable:

It gets really frustrating trying to eat healthy all the time.  It was nice to not worry about it for a couple days.  And we had wine!  Wine!  I don't drink a lot- maybe a drink or two a week, but it's a lot of calories, so I've pretty much stopped.  Man, wine is tasty! 

We had trouble getting back on track this week, and the two of us went out for trivia at our neighborhood bar (which we won).  

Bar food and a pitcher of beer really adds up and puts you over for daily intake.  Feeling a little queasy the next day (not used to drinking) I stayed home from TOPS.  I wouldn't use myself as a role-model for weight-loss this week.  We ate some junk food yesterday, and made some fried chicken for dinner.  I'm not proud of these past two weeks-but they can't all be good weight-loss weeks, right?

But, on to the Ups!  I've learned a lot overall with eating healthier.  First, I hated drinking water.  A lot.  I used to make myself drink a glass or two a day, some days I wouldn't  have any.  But after making an effort to drink more everyday, I can manage about 5 glasses a day.  And on days I drink less, my body notices.  I've gotten to the point where I need that much water, and I like drinking it.  

Next, I've found that I can make a lot of healthier substitutions and not miss the junk parts of food that I used to eat (too much).  We love making tacos for dinner.  We tried switching out ground beef with ground turkey and made our own taco seasoning.  It tasted great, but the texture of the turkey was a little too different for me.  Now we use half ground beef and half ground turkey, we don't notice the difference at all, and we save a lot of calories and fat.  We do the same for chili.  We've also switched to using turkey sausage when we make kielbasa for dinner.  We double our veggies instead of eating pasta or rice with dinner.  I have english muffins instead of a bagel or toast for breakfast.  Every little bit helps!  I'm learning a lot about what kind of foods I like, simply by trying new, healthy things.  It does make me miss a lot of food we used to eat, but we are working through it.  

I've also struggled with exercising this past week or so.  I get really bored just getting on the exercise bike and peddling for a half-hour.  I try to shake it up a little with yoga and weight lifting, but I needed a new challenge.  Since I haven't been able to make myself do a Zumba class, I am working with a friend from the restaurant to do a 21 day running challenge.  She went down a lot of dress sizes and went from not being a runner at all, to being able to run five miles!  She just did it herself last year, teamed up with a friend, and promised to run everyday for three weeks.  I am using her as my inspiration, and starting tomorrow, will begin a 21 day running challenge myself.  I made a calendar to track my pace, time and distance each day.  Hopefully having a set goal, and holding myself accountable will get me out of this funk- and turn running into a habit!

I'll keep you posted on how the challenge goes, and hopefully will have good news at my next weigh-in!!