Hey everyone,
I have been gone for a while. I've been hiding. Since moving back from Portland I have gained back seven of the pounds I lost. I had been down 22 pounds before we moved back home, and I'm slowly getting it back. I am still attending TOPS meetings, and have signed up for an officer position to help motivate me to get back on track. I steadily gained at each weigh-in with my new group, and kept the same weight at our last meeting. Hopefully, I have leveled out and will get back down. I have been too ashamed to write to everyone that I am gaining. I am failing every single day. Even weeks where I do everything I should- I stay under my calories, log all my food, and workout five times a week, I still gain! I know this is common, and I know that others are struggling with this right now. That's why I've decided to write about it-- maybe it will help clear the air and help me restore faith in myself.
The biggest problem I have right now is nowhere to work out. At our place in Portland, I had a fitness center in my apartment. It was small, but it was enough. I rode the exercise bike for 35 minutes most days, and got at least 8-9 miles in per day on the bike. The cost of living in a smaller town and smaller complex is that it doesn't have a fitness center. I didn't realize how heavily I relied on that bike to help me lose weight. When I rode the bike, I ate better that day. I drank more water. I didn't want to waste my workout. I loved riding that bike. Now, my only options for exercise are running, following YouTube videos, or playing tennis. Running is not fun! Tim and I keep at it, but it sucks. My ankles, knees and hips are sore everyday. It is difficult to continue to exercise when you do not enjoy it. I like playing tennis, but we are terrible. It is a lot of running to pick up the ball and get the game going again. Once we improve, it will be more fun, but right now, it's about as enjoyable as running. YouTube videos are great, and we really like doing Yoga, but it really doesn't burn all that many calories.
Financially, we have been struggling quite a bit. We emptied our accounts moving back home, because in the long run, it will pay off. We make more money here and it has the added benefits of being a lower cost of living and much closer to our families. Because of the financial hardship, we haven't been buying healthy food as much, and haven't been able to get a gym membership for me. Over the two months we've been home, we have spent more on takeout food than we have since January. We haven't had the cash to make a big grocery store run, so we've been picking up cheap dinners. It's digging us into a bigger hole financially, and into bigger pants for me.
I'm writing now to get back on track. We are tracking all our spending to get our finances in order. We have picked up second jobs. I am right now working on a freezer meal plan for today, and finding the best deals to get the most dinners prepped for the least amount of money. Writing is what makes me lose weight. You all are the reason that I do this, for support, for encouragement, and to help realize that weight loss is crazy difficult, but so many of us are in this together. I am 61 pounds from my goal weight. I do not want to be any farther away from that magic number than I am now!
Please, let me know if you are struggling too! If you have freezer meal recipes, or want some of mine, email me here at eringesine@gmail.com!
